


Bog All The Trolls!

by jetredgirl



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fanservice, Gen, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 16:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19467847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jetredgirl/pseuds/jetredgirl
Summary: When trolls invade the Labyrinth, the Scribes step up. Crackish fanservice for my Labyrinth peeps :-)Cross post from FFN.





	Bog All The Trolls!

Sarah flopped down next to her husband. "Ugh."

Jareth had been reading a scroll, but looked up to observe his wife. She was dirty and disheveled.

"Gardening again dear?"

"Trolls." She grumbled. "We have been infested with trolls. Nasty, vicious things. All they want to do is stick their ugly little heads out of the ground and annoy everyone by poking, prodding and snapping at our subjects."

Jareth put down his scroll, alarmed. "Trolls? How in all the realms did they get in?"

"Burrowed out of the depths of hell I'd say." She frowned and wiped her filthy hands on her leggings. "Regardless, they are slowly taking over our beautiful kingdom. If we don't do something soon, all our beloved subjects will leave and we will be stuck ruling over a kingdom full of 'em."

"Excuse me Majesties." A robed scribe approached the dais and kneeled.

"Please rise, dear scribe." Jareth said. He saw other scribes standing behind, waiting patiently. "Is something wrong?"

The scribe moved her hood back, her unruly red hair shifting, her brown eyes shining with determination. "We take seriously the task of removing the trolls from this kingdom. They seem to especially enjoy bothering us, so please will give us the task? We would sincerely enjoy hauling each and every one of them to the Bog and tossing them in headfirst as they are discovered. We would hate that you or The Queen would be forced to dirty your boots kicking them in yourselves. They are not worthy of such an honor as even that."

The monarchs looked at each other. Their loyal troupe of storytellers were much loved by them, and they trusted no one more to take up the mantle of ridding their beautiful lands of these loathsome creatures, whose only lot in life it was to make everyone miserable and chase them away from their cherished work.

"So be it then." Jareth stood. "I pronounce that from this moment forward, The Scribes of The Goblin Kingdom will be given the task of ridding us of the most dreaded of all pests, the trolls!"

"It will be done, Goblin King." The scribes bowed and scattered to begin the odious, yet necessary task.

One by one, the little beasts were uncovered, and dragged kicking and screeching to the Bog of Eternal Stench. They were many and buried deep, but the storytellers were persistent and vigilant. They worked together and eventually all that could be found, that did not burrow themselves even deeper to hide and wait, were found and disposed of.

The Goblin King and Queen were very proud. They granted them the highest praise and the scribes themselves were happy to do it.

Yet they all knew it would something that would be, on top of their duties writing tales of their beloved underground, work that never ends.

For everyone knows, when you bog one troll, another is bound to pop it's ugly head out of the ground eventually.

Often in the Goblin Kingdom, you could hear all the the goblins lead a chant that rang throughout the Labyrinth:

"BOG ALL THE TROLLS! BOG ALL THE TROLLS!"

Fin

:)


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